Waking up in the middle of the night
Well, unfortunately it happens to me more often than I'd like.
But today we had a little bit of a scare and as such, my mind will wander into the what ifs and unknowns and then I start to think I need to pray, meditate, get up and write.
My Little G had a scare today. After having a fun day of play with her friend {above}, who just down the street. She called to say that her chest was hurting her, but didn't want to cause a scene. She changed from her swimsuit and I got on my bike to ride over. She saw me, came to me, and immediately started to cry. She does not like to cause attention to herself, so I knew shw was not feeling well. Her chest was hurting and then, that made her anxious, which made her stomach hurt, and then her chesst hurt even worse.
It has been 8 months since her surgery and she hasn't had any problems. Life has been grand. Almost too wonderful...I think sometimes. She has been able to participate in life more fully, as we all have, since so much of the day to day scares have gone away she has had so many firsts. Recently she came home to tell me she played dodgeball for the first time ever and loved it!
This is a binder where I keep all her health paperwork since birth.
The doctor said that she might feel like something is going to start, but then, it catches itself. Since her surgery she hasn't had any triggers...today it was outside, playing in the sprinklers and then going into the cool house, I think that set it off. For some reason transitioning from hot to cold or cold to hot is always at the start of the problem, however whenever mentioning this to the doctors they think it is totally coincidental. But, I can say that almost every episode has occured with such a change in body temperature, a fever, the chills, going from hot tub to swimming pool, hot shower to drinking glass of cold water. hmmm....coincidental?? well, I just keep keeping track. {:)}
Her Doctor told us that she may feel the onset of an episode and then after adjusting and heartbeat correcting itself she will feel normal, and after awhile they will become either less noticeable or just easier to forget. She hasn't had any triggers since surgery, but today, she said she definately felt bad, even worse, she said, but I believe because it was anxiety in anticipation that something was going to happen. There were no other symptoms or signs of anything happening like in the past. Her heart was elevated, but not racing. I put her in the back basket where she used to ride with me when she was little (like Em rides now), and rode home about one block away.
Once home and in resting position I was able to count only 105 BPM which is half of what it used to be. After a couple of hours of relaxing and drinking some water she began to feel better and by that evening she was in the back yard again playing.
My Mister D keeps us all calm and collected and I try to keep my wits about me and not think the worst or anticipate what ifs and such. I know that my Heavenly Father knows all and things and it is in Him that I put my trust and faith, but let me tell you it doesn't mean that I don't wake in the night and contemplate life. It makes me aware of why I try to be the best Mommer and Wifey and celebrate all things. Life is fragile, and tender, and complicated. When I feel things swell up inside me it is best that I pray and then get up and write.
Thank you...whoever you are....for listening...reading and feeling my pain....go hug your loved ones, tell them you love them and celebrate life. The sun is coming up...it is a new day...live it to the fullest.
I think that I can sleep now, if only for a few hours before we get up for church.
from me to you w love -M
A reminder and focal point in my dining room...
Laugh Together Much
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