Don't Compare Your Beginning to Somebody's Middle - we are ALL different Mothers
What others have gone through, is their journey. What we are going through is ours.
I believe the sooner we recognize this, we will not only have more compassion for others, but we will have more compassion for ourselves.
I have been married, divorced, single mother, working mother and then married again, working again, and now a stay at home mom.
I am celebrating 17 years of marriage, but I have also mourned a marriage too.
I have worked at the bottom, and at the top. Had my own business, and now, nothing at all. I have had years of plenty and years of lean.
I have lived with the gospel and without it.
I have had ailments, disappointments, tragedies and despair.
I havehad &have now, triumphs, joy, excitement and love.
I had a child at 20, 23, 29, 34 & 42!
Each pregnancy was different, and each labor too!
Having 5 children with very different and unique talents, abilities and health issues; mental health and physical health has humbled me. I don't talk about these as much and maybe will be able to open up and share a little bit more, but out of respect and privacy for them, I try to keep that personal and not include in my social media life. I am realizing now, that for some, maybe it would be helpful to know that others are struggling too, but this is not the main topic of this post.
Little J, also know as "NSLA", has struggled with extreme sensitivities, "sensory integration dysfunction" or otherwise known as sensory processing disorder (SPD). He has been through much therapy for this, and now, I hardly notice he has a problem, but I was reminded last night while giving him a haircut, you would have thought I was torturing him. He says that touching his head is like me sticking him with pins! I feel so bad for him, but it also doesn't make sense to me, as I am being as gentle as possible. I just love him and try harder to be more gentler, a hair cut takes an hour and has lots of ow,ow, ow, ows. His biggest sensitivity is to the water. We have been trying to help him overcome this since he was little, but even more so, since he joined Boy Scouts In order to receive the rank of Eagle Scout he has to know how to swim. I know that he is trying to process this information, of water being OK, that anybody can swim, and he is trying to imagine that he can. {oh, why does writing this make me tear up so. I want more than anything to take away this struggle away and hope and pray that he will have the confidence and capability to overcome and carry on, but if not, that is OK, he will be OK. He is better than OK. This is just a little part of him and not the big picture.}
Gigi was born with a congenital heart disease and had surgery last September. She is doing very well now, but for many years the struggles and stress of having a child with a problem we couldn't control, and never knew when an urgent call to 911 would occur was at times, all consuming.
My Biggest Little has struggles with depression and my Big Little struggles with anxiety and seperation. Some of this stems from being young children of divorce. Struggling with living two seperate lives; One with me, one with their father, and trying to please one and then the other. It has been quite a balancing act for them and now that they are adults they see things more for what they are, rather than what they dreamed it to be. I feel bad and quilty for causing them such turmoil in their short little lives, but I do believe that I did what I had to do, and they are recognizing that now, but it is hard that they see their dad the way I see him, and not the way they thought he was. I have reminded them always that he is a good man, that we all have good within us, and the good part is part of them. We all have struggles within in us. Some struggles are harder to overcome than others, and loving sometimes isn't enough if the other person can't love themself.
I have come to realize that I have a family history of mental health problems and found that some of my sisters and mother have struggled with this and I am reminded of a time as a youth that depression hit me. I am curious to do some genealogy and research to see how far back in the line this has effected the women who came before me.
I hope and pray that my newest Little has health both physically and mentally and pray for strength to be a compassionate Mommer to all my Littles each day.
OK...so if this is just me....and if , I am so different and unique.... then there must be billions.....no trillions of differences between me,
and the women that I will bump into during my lifetime!
When others, open themselves up, be gentle...my life feels like an open book, as I wear my heart on my sleeve, but most people are private and share very briefly....those quiet ones are the ones we learn from most, listen carefully when they speak for you never know what message they will bring.
I love listening to the women who have gone ahead of me in the role of motherhood, and into to the stage of empty Nester's and Grand-motherhood....oh, the busy lives they lead and the wisdom they have. We need to take more time to spend with them.
I am hopeful for the future and pray for health and strength to be there for my Littles and their Littles too!
I believe the sooner we recognize this, we will not only have more compassion for others, but we will have more compassion for ourselves.
I have been married, divorced, single mother, working mother and then married again, working again, and now a stay at home mom.
I am celebrating 17 years of marriage, but I have also mourned a marriage too.
I have worked at the bottom, and at the top. Had my own business, and now, nothing at all. I have had years of plenty and years of lean.
I have lived with the gospel and without it.
I have had ailments, disappointments, tragedies and despair.
I havehad &have now, triumphs, joy, excitement and love.
I had a child at 20, 23, 29, 34 & 42!
Each pregnancy was different, and each labor too!
Having 5 children with very different and unique talents, abilities and health issues; mental health and physical health has humbled me. I don't talk about these as much and maybe will be able to open up and share a little bit more, but out of respect and privacy for them, I try to keep that personal and not include in my social media life. I am realizing now, that for some, maybe it would be helpful to know that others are struggling too, but this is not the main topic of this post.
{here's a little bit of sharing before I go on}
Little J, also know as "NSLA", has struggled with extreme sensitivities, "sensory integration dysfunction" or otherwise known as sensory processing disorder (SPD). He has been through much therapy for this, and now, I hardly notice he has a problem, but I was reminded last night while giving him a haircut, you would have thought I was torturing him. He says that touching his head is like me sticking him with pins! I feel so bad for him, but it also doesn't make sense to me, as I am being as gentle as possible. I just love him and try harder to be more gentler, a hair cut takes an hour and has lots of ow,ow, ow, ows. His biggest sensitivity is to the water. We have been trying to help him overcome this since he was little, but even more so, since he joined Boy Scouts In order to receive the rank of Eagle Scout he has to know how to swim. I know that he is trying to process this information, of water being OK, that anybody can swim, and he is trying to imagine that he can. {oh, why does writing this make me tear up so. I want more than anything to take away this struggle away and hope and pray that he will have the confidence and capability to overcome and carry on, but if not, that is OK, he will be OK. He is better than OK. This is just a little part of him and not the big picture.}
Gigi was born with a congenital heart disease and had surgery last September. She is doing very well now, but for many years the struggles and stress of having a child with a problem we couldn't control, and never knew when an urgent call to 911 would occur was at times, all consuming.
My Biggest Little has struggles with depression and my Big Little struggles with anxiety and seperation. Some of this stems from being young children of divorce. Struggling with living two seperate lives; One with me, one with their father, and trying to please one and then the other. It has been quite a balancing act for them and now that they are adults they see things more for what they are, rather than what they dreamed it to be. I feel bad and quilty for causing them such turmoil in their short little lives, but I do believe that I did what I had to do, and they are recognizing that now, but it is hard that they see their dad the way I see him, and not the way they thought he was. I have reminded them always that he is a good man, that we all have good within us, and the good part is part of them. We all have struggles within in us. Some struggles are harder to overcome than others, and loving sometimes isn't enough if the other person can't love themself.
I have come to realize that I have a family history of mental health problems and found that some of my sisters and mother have struggled with this and I am reminded of a time as a youth that depression hit me. I am curious to do some genealogy and research to see how far back in the line this has effected the women who came before me.
I hope and pray that my newest Little has health both physically and mentally and pray for strength to be a compassionate Mommer to all my Littles each day.
OK...so if this is just me....and if , I am so different and unique.... then there must be billions.....no trillions of differences between me,
and the women that I will bump into during my lifetime!
We all have stories to tell,
stories to share,
stories to grow from sharing
& stories to learn from hearing.
When others, open themselves up, be gentle...my life feels like an open book, as I wear my heart on my sleeve, but most people are private and share very briefly....those quiet ones are the ones we learn from most, listen carefully when they speak for you never know what message they will bring.
I love listening to the women who have gone ahead of me in the role of motherhood, and into to the stage of empty Nester's and Grand-motherhood....oh, the busy lives they lead and the wisdom they have. We need to take more time to spend with them.
I am hopeful for the future and pray for health and strength to be there for my Littles and their Littles too!
My mothering is different for each one of my Littles.
THEN
Isn't it true, that
we are all different mothers?
we are all different mothers?
Yes, we are different!
We are unique!
We are unique!
We are nobodys' middle...
We are
our WHOLE!
We are
our WHOLE!
Bless you, Bless you all!
from me to you w love, M
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