I'm not just a mom. I am more than a mom. I am a Mommer!

So, here I am again!

                   

{my first selfie}

I just bought an iPhone, I've been resisting this moment for years. I was worried I would get too distracted. I decided to create a focus.....or intention......to use this technology for good. This is me, I am open, I wear my heart on my sleeve....I am daring to do something different and  I am daring to share because I believe when we really speak from the heart and are vulnerable something great happens.

 Please be kind.

I want to focus on good things & celebrate life, this was my intention when I began blogging back in 2008, {A Gaggle of Gessells; celebrate all wins}, but at that time I was working and didn't post very much, just the good stuff.  I stopped blogging when too much unhappiness came my way. The housing market crashed, I quit working because I lost faith in the President's HOPE plan and couldn't help anyone who came to me, not even myself. I was stressed out.  We were faced with the decision to sell our house as a short sale, because without my income, we needed to downsize. Shortly after this, my husband's father passed away.  We moved, we had a purchase contract, and were hopeful to purchase a property in the country. The short sale process took forever and the market kept plummeting. The other houses on our street were now down by 20K, the buyer backed out on the day of closing.  We were in escrow 2 more times in 2 years. The last short sale contract valued the house at 290K. This was a considerable drop, we purchased it just 4 years prior at 450K.  The Banker wanted us to take an unsecured Note for 50K or come up with 20K in cash. The deal fell out, and once again and we were to start over, but we were done, done with all the emotional struggles and paperwork that went with this, and felt we did our best to make amends. We would hand over our keys and be done with it.  This crushed me. I had been in the Real Estate /Finance/Lending industry for 10 years, how could this happen to me.  It was really the pits and I tried not to talk about that too much. I decided not to focus on the negative and carried on the best I could. I had the love of my Mister and my Littles and that was all that was important. We carried on together.  Then I had the dream of starting anew. I dreamt of a cherry orchard.  I started a new blog for a new chapter in my life called, Life is like a bowl full of cherries {sometimes there is ripe goodness, sometimes just the pits}. I concentrated on goodness and later got Gigi involved in blogging as she documented her life as a big sister and a first time homeschooler with  the blog, Gigi & Baby Cakes.Towards the end she started having medical issues so I took over. We decided to end the blog after her surgery and when she started up public school again. Little J even had a stint as a blogger. {A brother with no brothers!} 

I see now, that all that has happened was part of a bigger journey for me to get where I am today. I am still on a journey, I will forever be on a journey.  One thing I learned is that your struggles are not the same as my struggles. We are all different. We are all unique. This struggle, and the struggles I see many others have, has given me compassion and empathy.  I don't know what you've been through.  I don't know what your going through.  But, I love you, and I hope I can help, even if its just with a hug and a smile or some words of encouragement here.

We all face challenges, as one door closes another one opens. I would have never quit my career in a million trillion years if things had continued to go as well as they had before 2008.  So, I was not daring when I quit my job, but I was brave  in the way that I didn't get another job and instead decided to stay home and be a full time mom. It was a huge adjustment, now I would never go back.

I do not judge you, or want to make you feel guilty if you are  a working mother and reading this you're thinking, easier said than done. I know you are doing the best that you can. I've worked since 1988...20 years, before I quit! Maybe, just maybe I can call it, retirement. {he he} It is not easy to be a mother and a worker, but sometimes very necessary. I have been a single working mom and a married working mom with lots of Littles I am grateful I had a wonderful husband that would do the "changing  of the guards" with me when he got home. Bless your mother heart if you are working now.  I am just glad YOU ARE A MOTHER.  You are doing the best you can, and God loves you for all your sacrifices.  Whatever kind of mother you are, I hope you are happy. I hope you find joy everyday in the eyes that stare back at you. I am just sharing my way of Mothering, I call it being a "Mommer." 

We are moms because we have children, but it is when we are in the act of being a mom in the moment that we are Mommers.

So, there you go... now you know me, please be kind. I hope you'll stay.

from me to you w love, M